There is something so beautiful about the unconditional love that comes from true friends. Not bound to loving you by blood or by law, the love of a friend is something chosen freely, over and over again, through the good and the bad. I think that kind of friendship is rare. I’m blessed to know it and claim it as mine.
I got to spend the weekend with some of my oldest friends, women I have grown up with. We talked and we laughed. We played in the snow, fell into fits of laughter from a ridiculous game of charades, drank good wine and ate good food. Free of the all the responsibilities we carry at home (kids and husbands and jobs and…), we relaxed more deeply than we had in a long time. This weekend we were able to just be. And I was reminded of how insanely important this kind of time is. Not just because we all need a break- we most certainly do- but because drinking deep from the well of true friendship is essential for my soul.
These women, these are people who know me in a way that no one else on earth knows me. Women who have seen me grow and struggle and succeed. They’ve walked with me as I’ve made every decision of my life since I was…14… when I am in a season of struggling to remember who I am at my core, these are the women who can remind me, my compass on a dark night.
I remember moving away from them for the first time. We all went to middle school together and by the time we graduated high school we knew we would be forever friends. I went to college with 3 of my best friends and most of us ended up back in our hometown after college. So, by the time my new husband and I moved to Seattle to start our marriage in an unfamiliar city, I had been living in the same place as at least 3 of these friends for over 10 years. I didn’t know life without them. I found myself in that rainy, Emerald city…completely lost, unable to find myself in this new life. My friends had been the mirrors reflecting my best self back to me for almost half my life. Without them, I couldn’t see my reflection.
Of course, there was a lot of necessary growth that came from being apart from my people. Being able to hold the mirror up for myself is one of the most important skills I’ve learned as an adult. But, what I also learned in those early years of being a coach’s wife and living away from my people, was how much I deeply needed these women. Our friendship was more than girl talk and fun (mostly boozy) adventures. These friendships were deeply woven into the foundation of my life and who I had become.
These are the women who can read my heart and speak the words for me when I can’t quite form them. These are the women who know exactly what hard questions to ask to help me find clarity when I can’t see through the fog. These are the women who remember small details of my past that I can’t locate- even the ridiculous ones, like how I would always eat tuna sandwiches at lunch in high school. I have no idea why they remember that, but I love that they do. These are the women who hold my hand and sit beside me in silence, when words just don’t feel right. These are the women who bring out the silly, crazy, lighthearted me that struggles to show up most days under the weight of adulthood. These are the women who challenge me to be better, not because they think I’m failing, but because they see the potential in me that I haven’t seen yet.
Our lives are busier than ever these days. We still don’t all live in the same town – in fact, a friend’s upcoming move to Arizona is the reason we moved mountains to make this weekend happen. I wish we could do this more, but I know for certain the last 3 days have filled my cup reminding me once again how insanely grateful I am that God gave me this tribe of strong, beautiful women who love me just as I am.
Sitting at the airport waiting for my delayed flight home, I opened my laptop to start writing because a knew I needed to capture these feelings before they were swept up and lost in the week ahead. I committed to putting my friendships on the top of my priority list. It’s easy to let them slip down to the bottom when things like work and family consume so much of my energy. But I am a better mom, a better wife, a better employee- frankly, a better human- when I connect with to these women. Our friendship is a vital piece of a healthy, happy Nicole.
What are some ways that you find time to connect with your tribe in the midst of your busy life? Share in the comments below!
XO, Nicole