Our first picture of baby A on transfer day {3.6.15}
Spend just 30 seconds on Google looking up anything fertility related and you are going to be chin deep in all sorts of advice. From the dreaded “just relax and it will happen”, to eating pineapple core and McDonald’s fries post FET (that’s frozen embryo transfer), it will make your head spin.
My doctor takes a very chill approach to this whole process and I have a love-hate relationship with that. I LOVE that he focuses on positive mindset. I love that he doesn’t have me on some crazy vitamin regimen and that I haven’t had to give up any food or drink {yet}. He is all about keeping calm and positive. But there is a part of me that’s like “please Doc, give me something to obsess over so I don’t obsess over the BIG stuff…you know, like whether this embie baby is gonna snuggle into my uterus or not”…gahhh!
So, while the internet is full of vitamin/food/exercise/massage/detox/etc. recommendations, this post probably won’t include many of them. There is probably a lot of validity to the suggestions you find and I am NOT knocking anyone who is washing down their L-Arginine pills with beet juice after they finish their fertility massage. There is actually a big piece of me that wants to be that girl and struggles with feeling like maybe I’m not doing enough because I haven’t done those things.
But here is my truth. Trying to keep up with all the recommendations would STRESS ME THE F OUT. I am NOT someone who does well with structure or routine or following rules. Too much of all that and I’m like “peace out, I quit”…followed by “I am such a loser, I can’t even take my pills on time. Everyone else is doing this, why can’t I figure it out”. I don’t do well when I am overwhelmed and all of the “how to prep” posts I’ve read just overwhelm me.
So, since Dr. K simply insists that I keep a positive mindset and minimize my stress as best as possible. That is what I’m focusing on. He also insisted that I start taking a prenatal vitamin- pretty standard.
Here are the 10 things on my FET prep to do list:
- Eating a healthy, balanced diet. I started a program called Faster Way to Fat Loss {Dr. K approved} because I really wanted to get my body in a better place before getting pregnant. The program focuses on getting the right amounts of fat, protein and carbs, while practicing intermittent fasting. I am LOVING it and so is my bod. I feel stronger and healthier…and I still eat ice cream. So its a win-win.
- Exercise Regularly. Again, I wanted to feel strong heading into this pregnancy so I have been hitting the gym (using my Faster Way to Fat Loss workouts). I could write a novel about my relationship with exercise; suffice it to say, we haven’t always been on speaking terms. But I have really begun to enjoy the gym because…KIDS CLUB! Yup, I can spend a full 90 minutes working out my stress without running after my kiddo. Hallelujah! They even have a hydromassage chair that you know I hit up EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I don’t make it to the gym everyday and I refuse to beat myself up over that. I go when I can and I try to make it 3-5 times a week.
- Take my prescribed meds (and prenatal). This is obvious, but also, not necessarily easy. When you’re popping 6+ pills a day and chasing after a 2.5 year old and running a business..and…it’s easy to forget the little blue pill that makes you NAUSEOUS {I’m talking to you, Estrogen} So I downloaded a medicine tracker app that literally gives you a guilt trip if you don’t take your meds on time …I haven’t missed a pill yet! (it’s called Medisafe if you want to use it- totally free) During our first round of IVF I made my own medicine tracker, on paper…so old school! But there were way more meds to track since we were also doing our egg retrieval. This time its much simpler.
- Cut back on caffeine. Studies are mixed and the data is a bit inconclusive about how caffeine effects fertility and pregnancy, but I usually take the more cautious road. The American Pregnancy Association has a good article on caffeine and pregnancy (here) and while you’re probably okay drinking one cup a day, I choose to play it safe and cut it out completely for at least the first trimester. So, I cut back and stop drinking caffeine about a week ahead of my FET so that I’m not dealing with caffeine withdrawal post-transfer.
- Have fun! Lucky for me it’s summer and I am on break from school so there is more time to have fun, but even if I was back at work I would be focused on having fun. This is A’s last summer as an only child. That makes me want to ugly cry so hard. So, I am trying to focus on enjoying the little things with him. Any time I spend engaging with him in play immediately makes me feel joyful and less stressed. We’ve also traveled a bunch this summer to visit family- which is fun and also exhausting.
- Feed my mind and soul with things that make me feel grounded, positive and connected. I’ve been reading great books {just finished Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis- must read) and listening to podcasts and music that pumps me up or makes my heart happy. I’m avoiding things that make me anxious (like the news) and reaching out to friends and family because my relationships are the best way to fill my bucket. I have learned that what and who I surround myself by has a profound impact on my mental health. At a time like this, there is no room in my life for negativity. Period. Gimme all the good stuff.
- Spend some QT with my hubby. This is easier said than done since our schedules haven’t lined up much this summer. But, we’ve snuck in a few more date nights and I am staying up later to be able to catch up with him when he gets home late. Little things add up, so I’m working on that. It’s an odd thing to be getting pregnant without the usual…ahem…horizontal polka. I will probably write about that later. But, we’re about to bring another human being into this world…it’s freaking important that our relationship is in a good spot.
- Act “as-if”. When Dr. K asked me how the estrogen pills were treating me, I told him I was just pretending the nausea was morning sickness. He gave me a fist-pump. It was the highlight of my week. This ties in with the positive mind-set, but you will find me talking about my due date and making future plans that assume I will be pregnant/have a newborn. There is no “hopefully” or “what-if”. I realize that might be a bit pie-in-the-sky for some. And I am also very aware of potential negative outcome here. At the same time, I think the power of manifestation is real so you better believe I am manifesting the most adorable baby bump you’ve ever seen! Gah! I love being pregnant. I can’t wait!
- Okay, okay I am also considering acupuncture. Acupuncture has been really helpful for me in the past for back pain so I am generally a fan. It wouldn’t hurt to try it on transfer day, I just haven’t made the appointment yet. There have been some legit studies that suggest acupuncture contributes to better pregnancy rates with IVF.
- Pineapple. I do eat the pineapple. I will start that the day of my transfer and eat 1/5th of a pineapple including the core for the next 5 days. If you are going through IVF and this is the first you’ve heard of eating pineapple click here for a good explanation.
Bonus tip: stay off the internet. Stop googling. Stop reading those message boards. I realize I am a blogger telling you not read blogs haha. But if you find yourself obsessing, or feeling more anxious after a deep dive into the land of fertility forums and blogs, JUST STOP READING THEM. Your journey is yours alone. Comparing it to others can make things worse. Trust your doctor will tell you exactly what you need to do and use your fertility clinic as a resource. Take care of yourself.
You have to know yourself and what makes you stressed vs what keeps you calm. I know many people who find great peace in their vitamin regimen and fertility massage schedule. I love those people. I am not one of those people. Focus on the things that make you feel hopeful, grounded and positive and do those things ALOT. Thats my two cents. 😉